JAMs Jams. Pure. Real. Fresh.

I'm not one normally to stay up to ring in the new year. But I think tonight I may stay up. Not to ring in 2013 necessarily but I feel like I need to be absolutely certain that 2012 really does end. I spent the morning in the ER today. Figured I needed one more visit to end the year & I missed being a patient. Not really. I was at the ER though. Jessie, our sweet dog, did a fancy maneuver to try to get in between Kendall & i on the bed this morning. And in the process put her toenail right in my eye! Ouch! It even bled! I had no idea the eye could bleed. It freaked us out a little & Kendall said I needed to go to the ER. Rare for him to show alarm so off I went. I love Vanderbilt! They know how to run an ER. Anyway long story short its fine. I've added some knowledge of the eyeball to my medical database too. I have to put antibiotic ointment in it for a few days & it should be fine. And I can cross visiting the eye doctor off my list because I got a co...

As I lay here tonight contemplating sleep, I am acutely aware that a year ago tomorrow I had my biopsy done. A lot can happen in a year, eh? A year ago I was pretty much on top of the world. I had lost a lot of weight, physically I felt fantastic. I was wearing a size 12 for the first time in probably 15 years. I was working out a lot lifting weights & doing intense cardio. I had a silly little lump in my groin that we thought we were being ridiculously over cautious having biopsied. I remember going to the diabetes clinic for the fine needle aspiration in the morning on Dec 28, 2011. Strange place to do it I thought. They had a little closet in the back with a sweet young pathologist & her assistant. I recall being annoyed because she told me not to work out the day of the procedure. Funny I didn't give it another thought when I left there last December 28th. Figured that was the end of it. We all know what happened next. Physically I've been pretty much a train w...

Here is the link to our scrapbook from Curacao.  Enjoy. http://www.adoramapix.com/app/showbook/PureRealFreshMarch2012/book/curacao/

Before I forget, here is a link to some of our pictures from Curacao.  We took over 800 so this isn't nearly all of them - but we hope you enjoy!! https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10200137128737141.2196342.1418481843&type=1&l=f6925b31a1 Now, Merry christmas! I hope today finds everybody happy, safe & warm with their families.  We have had a fun day - the kids woke up early of course.  We opened our stockings, then had breakfast.  Then we got dressed & opened our gifts under the tree.  Its a ritual - this is how we do Christmas here every year.  Doesn't change.  There's a lot of comfort in that. After we opened all the present here we took a little trip down to my office where EB's present from Mimi & Papa was waiting - she got a razor pocket mod scooter.  She's pretty psyched about that.  Eri got a battery operated 4-wheeler for her birthday yesterday so they are both motorized now!  Woohoo.  Maybe...

It's pouring rain here today. Kind of ironic since its our last real day here. We were going to ride ATVs today but decided against it in the nasty weather. So we did some shopping, went to the Hato Caves & learned about the geology of Curaçao & now we are home getting ready to pack. Why is packing to come home so much harder???? All our clothes are dirty so it should be easy. We had a spectacular day yesterday visiting Klein Curaçao which is a small uninhabited island about a 90 minute boat ride away. EB & I did 2 dives, Kendall & Eri saw 7 sea turtles snorkeling. We rode the banana boat & played on the beach. Fantastic!!! We will be home very late tomorrow just in time for Eri's birthday Monday!!!

Wow we are having an amazing time here in Curaçao. Emilia has completed her SCUBA certification. Eri has learned how to a snorkel (in 40' of water no less!). We have seen 2 hawks bill turtles in the wild. We have spent a half day in Willemstad, the capital. We have been off roading in our "it's a rental don't be gentle"! We took 40 pictures of awful cruise ship tourists which we code named "papayas". We've been shopping at the floating market, seen the worlds oldest floating bridge move. We have fished the Caribbean & caught a couple tuna, a barracuda & a jack. Whew. And we still have 3 1/2 more days to enjoy. We are driving to the far western side of the island tomorrow. Friday we are taking an All day boat trip to Klein Curaçao where EB & I will do 2 more dives & Eri & Kendall will snorkel. Saturday we are taking them ATV riding. Not sure what we are up to Sunday before we go to the airport. Guess what - nobody has asked me ...

 Wow, we leave on vacation Saturday.  The past couple weeks have literally gone by in a flash.  I spent the weekend in Walla Walla, Washington tasting all sorts of wonderful wine with Lorraine.  It was cold & rainy but a lot of fun.  Monday was in Seattle meeting with some folks & all day Tuesday flying home.   Lorraine & I with the Chihuly display at Longshadows  Me at the Spanish winery with their puppy Nestle.  Didn't bring him home but boy did I want to! This week we went to see Santa.  This picture of Eri & Matt just cracks me up.  What a great Santa - he even made a funny face! EB is too big for Santa really but it makes me smile that she still goes thru the motions. The pool at our house in Curacao The suitcases are packed, wrapping things up at the office so that we can take off early Saturday morning.  We will be in...

Yep my scans were totally clear! Dr Keedy is referring me to the Survivorship Clinic. Apparently my lack of motivation and continued fatigue are - you guessed it - totally normal! Have to give myself 9 more months to feel like myself again. Anybody have any patience I can borrow????

Its been a tough few days at work.  Wish I didn't have to go there this morning.  You know, I would've thought after all I've been thru this year that I just wouldn't care as much about bullshit at the office.  But its interesting, I find I do still care.  I'm not sure if thats good or bad.  It just is. I'm looking forward to seeing Dr Keedy and Dr Holt this afternoon.  I'm not looking forward to being back in the Vanderbilt Cancer Center.  I wonder if it will feel good to be back there as a survivor or if it will feel as claustrophobic and terrifying as it has ever other time?  Lets just hope the news is good.  I have an echocardiogram before I see the docs to check if the adriamycin has had any lasting negative effects on my heart.  I don't notice any but the ecg will tell us for certain. I'll post the news when I have it - hope everybody has a great day. For photo therapy, remember this?  Shaving my head back in March. ...

I've got a few friends in my heart this week.  And I've been reminded of some of the lessons I've learned this year that I'm already forgetting.  Been a reflective, interesting time for me. Last night we were lucky to have a last minute visit from one of my oldest friends.  I feel so ancient when I write this, but Kirsten & I have known each other for 24 1/2 years.  It doesn't seem possible that we met that long ago, when we were roommates with another crazy person during our first semester at West Point.  Some things change with time and some don't, though.  And even though we only see each other every 8 or 9 years (the last time was at her wedding in 2004), friendships and those bonds from shared hardships (& fun) last forever.  We enjoyed having her for dinner & catching up on the last decade or so.  I just burst with pride when I think about Kirsten - she's a super successful Army psychiatrist - she's one of those people who s...

Probably not but sure felt like it.  Yesterday I wanted to crawl into a hole & never emerge.  Today's better.  Colonoscopy was uneventful.  Dr Lindsey found no polyps, no nothing really - yee haw.  The best part of that means no repeat test until 2017!!!  Thank heavens for that.  The test is nothing but the day prior is hell. The PET scan was pretty uneventful.  I woke up yesterday very nauseous (nerves?) & nearly threw up in the machine.  Somehow I exerted willpower & kept from actually vomiting until later.  Won't know any results until I see Dr keedy next week i don't think. Here's a photo for the day - me & my baby brother last week.  Well, just discovered my picasa is full so I can't add anymore pics.  Instead, here is a link to my Facebook album of pics from last week.  You don't have to be on FB to view them.  https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.4878500926555.2193365.1418481843&...

It's hard to believe 3 months have passed since I finished chemo. That means the first of my quarterly scans & oncology visits are here. In the morning I will slide back into the PET scanner as step one of my new medical life. I'm trying to work out how I feel about it & I'm not quite sure. I'm definitely not afraid. I don't fear cancer returning. Perhaps I should but I don't. I'm not terrified of the nuclear radioactive injection like I was in January. And I got over being afraid of IVs and needles very early in this process. I'm not afraid I will be late or get lost in the maze that is Vanderbilt. So, fear is not in the equation. I think probably the most accurate description is curiosity. I don't believe there is any cancer to find so I'm curious what the results will be, what it will be like to be back in the hospital, back in the doctors office, etc. I also have my annual colonoscopy this week - lots of colon cancer at young age...

Sitting in sunny Jupiter at my brothers beautiful home, surrounded by an incredible family with a big ass turkey roasting away in the oven. I want to wish each of you a very happy and grateful day. Here is my list of things top of mind for me today. -I'm thankful I had cancer -I'm thankful I no longer have cancer -I'm thankful for modern medicine -I'm thankful for my adoring & supportive family -I'm thankful for technology -I'm thankful for my wonderful friends -I'm thankful to be alive, with my whole life ahead of me Happy Thanksgiving.

Trust a five year old to make you think deep thoughts. One of the real positives from my cancer experience is that I've reconnected with and been visited by several very dear friends. I don't recall my mom having friends like this visit her when I was growing up (probably because many of her dearest friends were overseas) so I hadn't really given much thought to what, if any, impact these visits might have on my girls. Interestingly Eriana seems to have an instant connection with my friends. Fascinating to watch, she has decided that my dear friends are in fact my soul sisters. She asks me when they arrive if we are soul sisters and of course I say yes. I've come to appreciate our sisterhood in the last year. Once she knows we are sisters she immediately takes to them like best buddies. She likes to snuggle up in the guest bed with them, sit by them at meals, regale them with tales of her friends and antics, and she (like me) feels genuinely sad when they return to the...

Holy moly its been a long time since I've posted anything.  I guess thats a good sign - that things are returning to normal & I don't have much to report.  Seems like just yesterday it was Halloween & now its nearly Thanksgiving.  Time is flying by. Last week we took a huge group of customers fishing in the Keys.  I was so proud of how our little group put on such a fantastic event.  And it felt great to be back in the real swing of things, doing a job I love with people I adore.  I missed Kendall & the girls terribly though.  It was COLD for the the Keys & the water was super rough so the fishing sucked.  But there's never a bad day on a boat.  Here are a couple pics from that trip. I never ever tire of this view!! Sunrise from the boat as we headed out Sunset over the Atlantic So I got home Friday evening & Saturday morning Kendall ran a half marathon in Nashville.  The girls & I went ...

Why do I feel like the Grinch handing out candy tonight???  Maybe its because I see my reflection in the door every time I open it & it makes me mad?  Makes me mad because a year ago I was fit & happy & dressed in a SuperWoman costume.  This year I'm bald, fat & dressed in sweats sitting on the couch.  I wonder if holidays will be like this for a while - reflecting on the shape I was in & what I was doing a year ago.  I suppose its natural to mourn the fit & trim person I was but rather than doing that I am pushing myself to focus on all the lessons I've learned and opportunities I've had in the last year.  Sometimes its not that easy though. Maybe its because some kids come all the way into the house & want to reach into the candy bucket themselves instead of letting me hand it to them?  Those kids by the way get told off & I give them 1 piece instead of the 4 or 5 I give the polite patient kids. Maybe its because s...

You can view our scrapbook from our Colorado trip at this link: http://www.adoramapix.com/app/showbook/PureRealFreshMarch2012/book/cfcc-2/ Love to hear your thoughts!

Seems like an understatement at this point.  I came roaring back from Colorado & haven't sat down since.  And it feels so good - even though my muscles and joints ache, it truly does feel so good to be active!! Yesterday evening I went to spin class.  Yes, you read that correctly - spin class.  I didn't make the entire class but I did make 42 minutes & burned 400 calories.  I didn't have the resistance as high as some of the others did I'm sure & I skipped stuff like jumps, but I DID IT!  Wow, talk about a victorious feeling.  Six weeks & 3 days after my last chemo treatment. 40 weeks & 3 days after my surgery. Today I took the day off with the kiddos since it was the last day of their fall break.  It doesn't feel like fall much here - it was in the 80s today.  Our plan was to load up our 3 bikes & go on the Shelby Bottoms Greenway.  Murphy was alive & well - my bike had 2 flat tires - not the ki...

I know you all want DETAILS on the Colorado trip - I'm rushed today so just a quick note to say it was AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, AWESOME, etc.  There will be tons more details & lots of pictures, including a scrapbook, for me to share soon.  For now, here are a couple photos.

Have to admit, I think I forgot how wonderful normal life is.  Doing the things everybody else does, not planning my life around when is the next chemo or avoiding activity because my counts are so low.  Pretty cool! I'm in Las Vegas this week for a builder meeting I go to every year.  This afternoon was spa or golf.  No brainer choice there although I do have to admit that the 85 degrees & sunshine kind of made me want to go ride the cart around the course.  We are staying at Aria - if you haven't stayed here, I would recommend it. Brand new, high tech, good food, awesome beds, cool views. I am one high rolling gambler.  I wagered $20 on slots yesterday - when I got up to $41.25 I cashed out.  I know, big risk taker right.  But I'm happy with my >200% return! Tomorrow I head to Denver to meet Lisa & Lorraine for our 3 1/2 day "Cancer Free Colorado Celebration".  Pretty excited about doing nothing special, sightseeing, tourin...

Its fall in Tennessee!  Love the cooler weather - anytime I can wear a sweatshirt its a good thing.  I can tell my blood counts are improving slowly & each week that goes by I get stronger. This week I got to go to the Keys for work.  I know its a tough job but somebody has to do it.  This picture on Wednesday morning made me so thankful for everything - to get to witness sunrises like this is something I used to take for granted.  Not anymore.  Now sites likes this make me thankful to be alive.  Thankful for the people who have helped me survive the last 9 months.  And thankful for modern medicine. Saturday night was Emilia's first "dance" at school - although they called it a "social."  She had fun but said it was very hot in the dance!  A couple friends came over before the dance & they got ready together.  I took the 3 of them to TJ Maxx - they were cracking me up trying on all the stiletto heels...

Sorry, everybody, for the delay in this post.  Been sort of a crazy week here so I'm just now getting to write about the party!  It was amazing.  I think we had between 110-150 people including kids.  The jumpy house was hugely popular of course.  I won't endeavor to thank everybody here individually because I don't want to miss anybody.  I will say, I had a huge surprise Friday afternoon when Amber delivered one of my dearest friends to my doorstep.  Lisa made the trip from Colorado to be here for the event, which made it that much more special.  And to think they pulled off a surprise - clearly they took advantage of chemo brain! Here are some pics. The "pre-party" - blowing up 200 balloons There were balloons everywhere - they looked amazing Me & Eri in the jumpy house Ann & Bill making jambalaya The Harris' jambalaya - huge hit!! Don't tell the party rental people that Jessie enjoyed the jumpy house, ev...