It's hard to believe 3 months have passed since I finished chemo. That means the first of my quarterly scans & oncology visits are here. In the morning I will slide back into the PET scanner as step one of my new medical life.
I'm trying to work out how I feel about it & I'm not quite sure. I'm definitely not afraid. I don't fear cancer returning. Perhaps I should but I don't.
I'm not terrified of the nuclear radioactive injection like I was in January. And I got over being afraid of IVs and needles very early in this process.
I'm not afraid I will be late or get lost in the maze that is Vanderbilt.
So, fear is not in the equation. I think probably the most accurate description is curiosity. I don't believe there is any cancer to find so I'm curious what the results will be, what it will be like to be back in the hospital, back in the doctors office, etc.
I also have my annual colonoscopy this week - lots of colon cancer at young ages on my moms side of the family. Again, no fear there. That one is more of an inconvenience because of the prep. Last year they found one polyp to biopsy & it was benign. Maybe if there's nothing again this year I can go longer than a year til the next one... I do plan to ask for plenty of twilight anesthesia so at least something is enjoyable about it!
That's pretty much the news from here. I'm trying to track my calories & exercise again with an eye on just maintaining while continuing to get more fit. I'm still very tired at night, I fade fast! Stuff to ask Dr Keedy about next week...