JAMs Jams. Pure. Real. Fresh.

Well, its the most beautiful time of the year in Tennessee, even though it was a bit warm today!  We have been busy doing stuff out in the garden & enjoying the spring. Saturday morning Emilia debuted Jams Jams at the flea market.  Lets just say it wasn't the right target market & leave it at that.  She had fun & enjoyed her day with Amber & Julie.  Here comes Daddy! Eriana & I went to watch Kendall in the Country Music 1/2 Marathon - we were so proud to see him running toward us!  He even came over & gave us "5".  He finished in the same time as last year but significantly further ahead in the placings & was pretty happy with it overall I think, especially given how warm it was.  It still is unfathomable to me how fast he runs - and I just love to watch him! And he's gone! We worked in the garden a lot on Saturday.  I am so fed up with my fat leg - I just put my sneakers on & off I went to the garde...

So the fat leg continues to be fat!  Physical therapist said it may take up to 6 weeks or longer of weekly "manual lymph drainage" (sounds horrible but is really just very very light massage) plus wearing my beautiful compression socks for it to go down.  If it doesn't then I get these amazingly sexy & gorgeous night time "garments" to wear that look like oven mits on steroids & are custom made to fit my leg.  Yeah, one more disfiguring event - hopefully we can get it under control without that.  So, last night I got a package from Kirsten, whom I've written about before - she was my roommate the first year at West Point.  I was telling Eriana about her this morning & realized we've been friends for 23 years.  I know for my high school & childhood buddies who read this that is nothing, but wow, thats a long time.  Anyway it was a wonderful package with some beautiful scarves & a very sweet card.  But what I found in ther...

I thought today I would write about other people, as I have had a lot of time to think about people this past week.  Before I get to that, I will let you know that with yesterday's Neulasta shot, 2 of 7 rounds are officially complete.  Hooray!  The nausea subsided yesterday & was replaced by vengeful abdomenal cramps.  However, today I'm feeling good!  Excited about physical therapy for the "fat leg" starting tomorrow. So, now onto other people.  I got a note yesterday in the mail from a colleague that really made me stop & think.  It was the sweetest note about how much she admires my attitude and strength.  I've heard that a lot, but this time it made me pause.  And I started to think about all the people I admire.  I admire those who have taken the time to write to me -  whether it is once like this colleague or every week (often twice a week) like Myra, Maryann's sister or heartfelt and emotional like from Lisa or ...

Good morning everybody.  Sitting in my chemo room for the day with a bright sun shining in!  Not where I'd opt to spend the day given a choice, but it is what it is.  So far so good this week, been feeling a bit nauseated so not eating a whole lot, but otherwise doing okay. My parents surprised me last night with my mom's old tea cart completely refinished.  They had it done in Florida & shipped up here - what a wonderful surprise.  Looks great in our dining room.  As I get older, I wish I had saved more of Mom's furniture.  So tomorrow I am more than half way done with radiation.  No real side effects from that so far - thank goodness.  It will be nice not to have to go down there to the basement every day though! And Friday I am 2/7th done with chemo (will have done 14 of 49 treatments but who's counting).  That doesn't sound like very far, does it?  But for perspective, one of my favorite chemo nurses is 14 weeks pregna...

So, Amy, one of my BFFs, asked me in an email last night what I have learned that I didn't expect thru this process...  Gosh, I haven't really stopped to think about that but its a darn good question.  So I started putting together a list off the top of my head & here is what I came up with.  There are explanations behind all of them of course but I decided to leave those out.  Maybe I will get into them later in the year. …people need to help & its okay to let them …cancer sucks but your attitude can overpower the suckiness 99% of the time (okay maybe more like 80%) …if you feel like shit its okay & it won’t last forever - and it will definitely make you appreciate when you don't …hair is over-rated - but you can't say that until you know the shape of your head …I (we) have more friends than we ever knew …hospitals should not allow chinese food in the cafeteria  …working is healthy - for me - that doesn't mean it is for everybody ...

Happy Day!  The fog from last week's treatment has lifted & I get to enjoy the week or so of a clear head & feeling good.  A bit of back pain from the Neulasta but the pain meds help with that pretty effectively & don't mess with my head.  My leg is still swelling like crazy, darn it.  This week is radiation every day, otherwise no doctors!  Yay. Here are some garden pics.  Tomatoes - they were looking good but now the leaves are kinda yellow, not sure why. Peas - we may have planted a bit too dense on that row on the right...  We put the pea fence up this weekend. One of the side beds, rosemary & lavender - thats mint in the pots at the back. Herbs just getting started. Now, for the Easter pics.  Emilia was gone Saturday night so we didn't do our Easter Egg Hunt until later on Sunday afternoon.  The kids both got Easter baskets on Sunday morning, though & Eriana made Kendall hide EVERYTHING in h...

I used to look forward to weekends because I got to stay home from work & play with the kids.  Thats still great (although I miss going to work), but now I am looking forward to the weekend because NO TREATMENTS.  Yes, no radiation, no shots, no needles, no chemo, no stinky chinese food smell.  Yes.  And this is Easter weekend too - even better! We don't have much planned, just a quiet weekend with the family.  EB is going to a friend's quinceanera tonight & spending the night (she's good friends with the 15 year old's sister).  So we will have a night with just us & Eri.  Fun.  Tomorrow we will hide and hunt for Easter eggs - Eriana is beside herself with excitement about that. We got so many delicious treats yesterday from Pam, Tracy & Jennifer.  Its hard to even pick what to eat there are so many great things in our fridges.  And our sweet neighbors, David & Betty, brought us stuffed shells Thursday too so we h...

Crick, crick, crick, crick, crick - the sound of the IV.  Nearly done with the first half of Cycle #2.  Hooray.  So, no blood clot in my left leg.  The swelling is attributed to lymphadema - swelling in a limb after removal of a lymph node.  As it was explained to me, the body has to re-learn how to filter fluids out of your body once the lymph nodes are gone.  Sometimes it happens fast, sometimes it takes a while.  So we are just monitoring it for now.  If it doesn't improve then I will go to the Lymphadema Clinic which is like physical therapy basically where they work on getting the fluids to drain.  One doctor described it as the tissue is like a sponge - soaking up water - so it isn't big pockets of fluid its dispersed throughout the leg.  Meanwhile it still looks hideous. My blood counts were good yesterday.  That neulasta is amazing - my WBC was 15.7 - for those fellow cancer patients or anybody familiar with blood counts...

Yep its swollen alright - looks like a fake leg - kind of grotesque really.  They think the swelling is due to the fact that there are no lymph nodes to drain my left leg, but I will be getting another Doppler this afternoon just to be sure there are no clots.  Its mildly painful - just because the skin is so tight really and it hurts to bend my ankle.  I have what I call "Old Lady Toes" where the nails look really tiny because the toes are so fat.  Very attractive, good thing I'm already married. Speaking of attractive, the rest of my hair fell out this weekend.  I'm pretty much bald as can be now. Still a few patches to fall out here & there but it no longer looks like I just buzzed my hair short.  Ah well, another step in the journey. It was a beautiful weekend here.  The girls & I went to Opry Mills Saturday morning - glad we went early because by the time we left it was claustrophia-crowded.  Pretty much the same place it was befo...