JAMs Jams. Pure. Real. Fresh.

It seemed like a good idea for our kids to spend two weeks in Florida back when I Booked the tickets in February. Now that they are about to leave I'm wondering what we are going to do for two weeks with no kids! I miss those brats already & they haven't even left! It's been wonderful to have Maryann/Mimi/Mom here for 3 days. Nice to have someone so wonderful here to pal around with. I will miss her too when she leaves with EB & Eri tomorrow morning. But tomorrow Lisa will be here so I have that to look forward to! Then Monday morning is labs, see the nurse practitioner & Round 5 of Turbo Chemo. After this week & assuming we nix the final round of chemo, I will be down to 7 remaining treatments! I am so ready to be done! This week will be infinitely more bearable because Lisa is here, though. I suspect we will also be adding an extra week before starting the next cycle as well. I just can't recover like I could after the earlier cycles. Will be in...

Thought I would share a few fun photos from the last few days.   Rafting pics to come this week! The girls enjoying donuts on Friday, doing their part to help mommy feel better!  The making of John Sid yesterday - he enjoyed the movie today  Told you Eri plays with her stuffed animals - this is the petting zoo in our TV room   The enclosure in our kitchen - should come down this week while we wait for the cabinets 

Well as peaceful as can be with 2 kids, 2 dogs, & 3 cats! Julie B & her beautiful family brought us yummy Einstein Bagels this morning. What a treat! I like mine with saga blue cheese & fresh tomatoes from the garden. Kendall likes his with smoked salmon spread. EB likes butter & jam on hers & Eri loves cream cheese. Einstein is the best - we used to get bagels there whenever we went to Austin back when we were stationed at Fort Hood & there was also one near the hospital where my mom had her cancer treatments so it has a long history with us. I was supposed to take Emilia rafting on the Ocoee this weekend with Lisa & Lorraine but that got a little upended by the blood count situation. Daddy to the rescue! He took EB to Chattanooga this afternoon, They are seeing a movie tonight, spending the night & then going rafting tomorrow. I'm a little jealous but I will take her next summer! EB got a new waterproof camera for the trip so I hope to have so...

this is really funny, I guess. Went for labs yesterday - I knew they were bad because I literally had to sit down after walking from the bedroom to the kitchen since Tuesday. I really don't know looking back how I made it to work Tuesday & Wednesday. So yes they were low - at "crisis" levels as the lab calls them. My white count was .2 - lower than when I had the appendicitis. My PCV red count was 19. That's the lowest it's been so far. My platelets were 42 (low end of normal is 150s). I wondered if they were going to admit me but instead they gave me 2 units of blood. Unfortunately there was a positive antibody screen presumably from the unmatched platelets I got during surgery so it took several hours to find the right blood. I finally left Vanderbilt at 7.30 last night. I was quite the spectacle in the cancer center. All the nurses wanted to come see the girl with a PCV of 19! Dr Keedy came up to see me yesterday & we agreed that based on my counts ...

Really I don't know what else to say except I have been truly humbled & moved by the response to last night's post.  Almost all the days are filled! 27-Jul   7-Aug Lorraine 8-Aug Roger 20-Aug Amber's Birthday 21-Aug   22-Aug   23-Aug Lisa A 24-Aug Lisa A 4-Sep April ? 5-Sep Amber 17-Sep Lisa A 18-Sep Lisa A 19-Sep Cori 20-Sep   21-Sep Karen C

Yep, it's happened. I have finally gotten to where I need to ask for help. Not help on the scale of the garden party thank goodness. I am really struggling with having the perseverance mentally to finish these last 19 treatments. And I'm ok with admitting that. I'm human after all. I have to imagine its a bit like running a marathon (I've never done that so I'm speculating of course). The closer you get to the finish line, don't the miles seem longer? I've become obsessed, I realized with some friends' help today, with the countdown. And the more I count down, ironically, the more I seem to convince myself that I don't need or want to do all 19 remaining treatments. Today I even went so far as to ask DR Keedy what would happen to my chances of recurrence if I only did 12 more instead of 19 more. Naturally there is no data so no answer to my question. I'm not a quitter - so why am I telling myself I don't need to finish this? Maybe beca...

I had a freelancer redesign the Jams Jams site - hope you like it.  I think she did a great job & I just love it! Still tired this week - I can't believe I may actually be looking forward to getting a transfusion.  My back is aching a bit from the Neulasta shot too and I have some other aches & pains & complaints.  Wah!!  Its a gorgeous week here in Nashville.  The girls will be busy this week in the afternoons at Cheekwood - Emilia is doing something related to Art I think & Eri's is just a general fun camp.  EB is at school this morning getting her new Fujitsu Tablet computer & her first offiicial email address.  How exciting - she could barely sleep last night thinking about it. Will keep you posted as the week progresses but it should be a relatively uneventful one, lets hope.  Lisa comes on Saturday!!  And on Sunday we are taking Emilia white water rafting on the Ocoee.  Hope I'm up for that(=  Next Mo...

Well this round has been different than the last few.  Usually I feel terrible the day after treatment then bounce back by Saturday.  This time I never really did feel terrible but boy do I feel washed out - like a dishrag really.  I get bursts of energy but they are brief - have to take full advantage when they come about! You know its not like me to feel lazy - very frustrating!  Luckily its one of those weather weekends anyway that makes you not really feel like doing anything.  We ran some errands today & I'm contemplating painting the shelf Kendall built me for the porch.  Just contemplating, not actually doing yet!  I'm not complaining about the rain - we have had it on and off since probably last Saturday - it is a huge & welcome change from the oppressive heat & dry weather we had for 6 or 8 weeks in a row.  It sure does make my old arthritic knee ache though! My Mother's Day TV is up & working but Comcast is a bunch of...

Well, two more of the Icky Chemos are over!  Hooray.  That means only 2 more cycles (or 4 days) of this one until the finish line.  Love that thought. I've been okay this round - very tired so I went to bed super early last night & felt good this morning.  Around 10 when I got to chemo I started to feel pukey again but they hooked me right up with drugs & now I feel tired again but I did manage to eat some leftovers for lunch.  My blood work wasn't too good this time.  WARNING:  Bunch of boring medical information coming... I did learn a lot more about what they are looking at thought - 3 primary things - 1) white count (the important part of this is the nutrophylls I've mentioned before), 2) platelets and 3) red count.  I haven't really had any issues with white count except when I had the appendix issue - normally its pretty fair & that is helped significantly by the Neulasta shots (those $7,000 shots I get after ever...

Well sitting here listening to it thunder outside & crossing fingers & toes that it will rain FINALLY!  Emilia is doing a rain dance.  Its been the hottest & dryest last few weeks I can recall here in Tennessee & we desperately need some rain. The garden is still thriving in the heat though - corn, tomatoes, basil & cantaloupe seem to really enjoy the heat.  We harvested enough cucumbers for our first batch of pickles which I made on the 4th.  I also made a ton of blackberry jam from all the blackberries we picked Tuesday. Yum, its my all time favorite.  So our spare fridge is slam full with pickles, peach jam, peach chutney & blackberry jam. We are in a lull on the kitchen project while they fabricate cabinets.  The week of the 16th they will do the electric & plumbing and hopefully appliances & cabinets during the week of the 23rd which is Turbo Chemo week.  Will be a great week though since Lisa is coming & I ...

So I saw this on Facebook this week - thought it was a bit odd that there is a week just for brothers, but the words and meaning in this particular passage really hit home for me. See, we grew up in a very small family - we have cousins but we rarely saw them because they grew up in England.  So really most of the time it was just me & my brother growing up.  Our house was out in the country - 5 miles from the closest gas station so it was an endeavor to go to a friend's house.  We got to spend a lot of time together growing up, Mike & I.  We used to fight like cats & dogs - I made a sport of making him cry for about the first 10 years of his life.  Maybe longer because while I was a hefty, sturdy kid (understatement) he was a little bean pole.  We are in most ways as different as night & day.  I'm introverted, Mike is the social center of everything.  I was never very popular in school, always kind of nerdy (yes I kno...

Yeah baby, looking at halfway thru chemo in my rear view mirror this weekend.  49 total treatments.  28 completed.  That is a hell of a feeling.  I have 6 more "cycles" or 3 more "rounds" depending on your terminology & how you count.  This week is off & I will hopefully start the next round of CAV on July 10th.  And we will continue to keep our fingers & toes crossed that we stay "on time" to finish all of this on September 21st, which coincidentally is Emilia's 12th birthday. Still feeling the effects of this week's turbo chemo as I call it but for the most part I'm feeling good.  Its too damn hot here to do anything so that gives me a good excuse to sit around(=  Kendall took the girls to the pool yesterday - I am probably one of the biggest pool/sun lovers I know but one thing chemo has taken from me this summer is the ability to control my body temperature effectively so I have had to miss all the pool time I normally enjoy i...