Thursday, September 6, 2012

Could it be?

The last night ever to sleep with my port accessed?  Certainly that appears to be the case!

With the help of some amazing family & friends, I find myself on the eve of my final treatment.

I can honestly say this is not a place I ever expected to find myself. First I never in a million years thought I'd get a cancer that required 42 chemo treatments (a number even the nurses & now my oncologist admit is flabbergasting). Then when our world was rocked with a sarcoma diagnosis in January, chemo was iffy at best - it sounded like we wouldn't have to do it. Then came the surgery & the pathology with a much more dire outcome than we had thought.  The change in diagnosis to Ewings Sarcoma pretty much turned our world upside down as we realized chemo was an absolute must & that it wasn't just any chemo. It was the chemo from hell marathon. At that point I never thought I'd find myself on the eve of the final day because it seemed like it would never end!

By the numbers it's pretty amazing...

>$400,000 in medical expenses
Dec 28 was the first biopsy so 253 days we have been dealing with this
As of today 41 chemotherapy infusions completed
I think 18 liters of blood transfused & 1 liter of platelets
2 surgeries, 7 nights in the hospital & 1 trip to the ER
2 dopplers & 2 drain insertion procedures
1 port installation & 1 drain removal
About 80 hours of disability when I've been unable to work
30 radiation treatments
At least 40 doctors visits
At least 45 lab draws
1 PET scan , 3 CT scans & an x ray
Pretty close to 100 liters of fluids I've gotten
Too many shots & pills to count
Over 70 trips to Vanderbilt
Literally miles & miles of IV tubing

What a journey it has been so far. I have learned so much about myself, my strengths & weaknesses, about the faith, love & support of my family, and have been awed by the kindness, generosity & help of so many amazing friends. I have never felt so loved!

I am amazed at the resilience & strength my children have demonstrated. I hate with all my being that my innocent five & eleven year old daughters know about cancer, chemo, ports, wigs & the like, but i  am so proud of the way they have taken everything in stride. This disease can be so destructive, but we haven't allowed it to detroy us!  If anything we are a stronger family for it!

Much much love to all of you. I may continue to write here if anybody wants to keep reading!

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  1. Thinking about you today, many blessings for an easy last treatment!

  2. "I may continue to write here if anybody wants to keep reading!"

    You "may" ? Sure hope you do. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.


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