Well, I knew eventually I would get here to this point - I'm mad. Not at any individual or any particular thing, just mad at the world. Feeling a bit sorry for myself too. Bad combination for a Monday morning. If I stop & actually think, I have no reason to be mad. I'm going to beat this damn thing, but it sure is inconvenient. Its disrupting my life, my family's life, my work.
So when I got to my office this morning, I had a card & an adorable Willow Tree Angel of Prayer. The words on the card cracked me up - it says "Even if you didn't have kids, you'd be the toughest mother I've ever known. If I were cancer I'd be nervous." It was exactly what I needed to start changing my outlook from anger back to aggression. Another thing happened this morning, I have this on my wall in my office - I haven't looked at it in ages but this morning it jumped out at me as if it were surrounded by neon lights! I can't remember when Eri wrote this (I have never been good about putting dates on stuff). Its a little hard to read but it says "All you need is love and a blankie." Amen Sista!
Strange thing happened on Friday. For probably the first time ever, I asked my boss to just tell me what to do. I'm sure he is terrified at this character alteration, but boy did it feel good to let go of a decision and have somebody else take it on. I'm not sure I can make a habit of it, but every now & again letting things go might be okay.
We had a wonderful weekend - not doing anything special, just this and that, errands and stuff. We painted pottery yesterday with Mindy & her daughter Kyra. Kyra spent the night last night. My heart smiled this morning when I looked in Emilia's room & saw EB, Kyra & Eri all lined up in a row sleeping like little angels. No school today for them - and a big day for EB as her new bed is due to arrive. She's waited a month for it so she is pretty excited.
Saturday morning breakfast!
We cooked & baked a lot this weekend. Emilia made her beignets on Saturday for breakfast. I didn't cook them quite long enough so the larger ones were doughy inside but we ate around that & they were delicious. Yesterday I made cookies and coffee cake and a really yummy pork tenderloin with mushroom mustard sauce for dinner. Have to empty the fridge tonight - its leftovers night. Not my favorite!
So, for today's image. back to my photography habit. I took this picture of the blue heron on an airboat ride in the Everglades with my Dad & the girls last spring break. I have to say I never appreciated how challenging bird photography is. Darn things usually move before you can close the shutter. This particular bird is so majestic even though its surrounded by predators. Its balanced rather precariously on this twig in the middle of a swamp - one wrong move and it might fall. One moment of lost awareness and it might be alligator dinner. Relates rather metaphorically to how I'm feeling today. I'm balanced on this twig - I know there are alligators around me but for right now, I have the upper hand. I have the advantage of height and sight. And I can fly to escape them, just like the heron in the Everglades.
I'm a working mom & wife in Nashville, TN. Kendall & I have been married for 15 years and have 2 beautiful (well we think they are beautiful) and smart (I've always hated how girls are called beautiful above smart) daughters, who are 7 and 13. We live in Oak Hill just outside Nashville with our menagerie of pets (2 cats, our dog, Jessie, and our new puppy Syd).
I have a job that I absolutely adore working in building products marketing. I have a fantastic team at work, I travel a lot & work hard, but it is so rewarding and enjoyable.
My hobbies are traveling, reading, cooking, baking, photography, and fitness. I spent most of 2012 undergoing treatment for an extra-skeletal Ewing's sarcoma - surgery, radiation, chemo, etc. I started writing this blog when I received my diagnosis, both as a way of documenting my journey and as a way of keeping family and friends informed of my progress.
Now I continue writing occasionally as I try to get back into shape, learn to return to a normal life, and discover what it means to be a cancer survivor.