Sunday, October 6, 2013

Can't Really Explain Why

So, I've taken quite the break from blogging over the past year, but for some reason I feel compelled to start writing again. 
Perhaps enough time has passed that I don't associate blog with cancer in my mind. 
Perhaps I miss dumping my thoughts, worries, concerns, and dreams onto "paper" every day or two.
Perhaps I miss the comments from my friends and family who read what I write.
Perhaps its time for me to open a new chapter - in life and in my blog?

So, the year anniversary passed - strange - I didn't feel a flood of emotion as I expected.  It was kind of like yeah, well, its been a year.  I took that day off, got a massage, and took care of some errands.  Got a lot of really nice comments on Facebook.

What really punctuated the year for me was finishing the Nashville Women's Half Marathon.  I started training in May & walked almost 200 miles in the process.  The event was last Saturday morning - it was beautiful at the start and hot as hell at the finish.  I walked it all - all 13.1 miles - and now I'm looking at that as closing the door on the cancer room in my life.  I had some dear friends walk with me - and while I was anything but speedy, I DID IT!  And I have a huge medal to show for it.  And big huge blisters on my heels that I've had since the first 4 mile "long" walk.  Four miles doesn't seem very long anymore. 

The blisters are healing, the cancer room door is closed, and I'm moving on.

For the most part, I have no lingering remnants of cancer - sure I have a scars from the surgery and from my port and sometimes I have the swelling in my left leg from lymphadema, but for the most part there is only one thing left from that experience -- and that is the weight I gained.

As I close the door to the cancer room, I'm opening the door to the next room which is the one where I return to my healthy and fit self.  I've engaged a nutritionist to be my co-pilot and I'm working on finding a trainer here in Nashville to help me on the workout side of the equation.  So, my goal is when I get to the Two Year anniversary to still be in the healthy/fit room and be closer to that goal.  I'm not in a hurry - I have to do this at my pace in a sustainable way.  And I can.  And I will.

I thought I might bring the Photo Therapy back from the archives...  I took this one a couple weeks ago traveling for work in Jackson Hole, WY.  The colors in it really strike me.  Like life - so colorful.  Every time I look at it, I see something different - again, like life.  Hope you enjoy it - and please don't hesitate to send my your comments and thoughts.  I'll be trying to write a couple times a week.

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