Things to Think About

This morning I was surprised to turn on my phone and have a message from Vanderbilt.  I just saw all the docs & I haven't communicated with any of them, all systems are go for restarting chemo Monday so I really wasn't expecting any communication with them this week.

When I opened up the message, which was sent after 10 pm last night, it was from Dr Linn, my primary care doctor - the one who initially made me get the lump in my groin biopsied.  She didn't need or want anything, didn't have any medical results to share with me, didn't want to schedule another test or procedure or infusion, just wanted to tell me she is following my progress & wish me well in my appendectomy recovery.  This message really struck me.  Dr Linn has 3 little kids - and gosh only knows how many patients (she doesn't take new patients).  Here she was at 10 pm thinking about me.  And letting me know it.

This got me to thinking about the power of not only thinking about people, but telling them that you're thinking about them.  Its something that has really been impactful in my treatment and my outlook thru this whole process - knowing that others are thinking about me (in a positive way - not putting pins in the voodoo doll I hope) and have been open and willing to tell me that.  It seems a small thing - to just send an email or a text & say Hey - I'm thinking about you - but you just never know when that will be the turning point in a bad day or the bright spot in a cloudy week. 

Its happened to me so many times - sitting in the chemo chair either bored or, on occasion, feeling a bit sorry for myself (yes, it does happen) & ping - there goes the phone with an email or a text.  Usually I open it up sort of grudgingly thinking its more work for me to do or someone wants to schedule a conference call.  But every so often, its not - its a note or a message from a friend or colleague or acquaintance or family member - it doesn't usually say much - just hi, thinking about you or how are you - but it changes everything.  Those few little words wipe away the sorry for myself or make me forget I was bored.  Sometimes they even make me forget where I am for a bit.  They are treasured.

This week one of my friends brought me 6 beautiful pink roses.  Not because I am sick or because anything is wrong - just because she was thinking about me & wanted to brighten my day.  Sometimes in life little gestures mean so much more than big, grandiose, fancy ones.  I don't know why - they just do.

So, I guess to cease the rambling - one thing I've kind of pledged to do is tell people when I'm thinking about them or worried about them or whatever.  Just a few words, the impact infinitely greater than the verbiage.

We haven't got any big plans this weekend - we're excited about Ann & Bill bringing us dinner Sunday - its always a treat & we all look forward to it.  I'm sure the weekend will fly by merely because I really don't want Monday to get here.  But, you know what, it will.  And I will head off to chemo, and the week will be fine.  I'll get to come home each night to my baby girls and my sweet husband, sleep in my own bed, and be grateful for modern medicine washing the cancer out of me!