JAMs Jams. Pure. Real. Fresh.

Pretty sure those words are in a song somewhere.  But they also describe how I feel today.  Sure, I'm exhausted.  Had to sit down after each step of getting ready this morning.  But I don't feel nauseous!  Hooray.  The bone pain from the Neulasta, white blood cell boosting shot has not kicked in yet - I feel a bit of an ache in my lower back but what pudgy middle aged woman doesn't??? The sun really is shining here in Nashville today - its a gorgeous day.  I am in the office today which I have to be honest feels amazing.  To see my friends and colleagues and do meaningful work is very empowering right now.  I love it. We have a fantastic weekend ahead of us - so much will get done and I am just humbled to think that so many people would volunteer their precious time and resources to help us out.  I've even learned to let things go a bit and let people do stuff for us.  Not easy I assure you but very rewarding. Today's photos a...

Remember the "Chemo is going to suck" post?  Hate to say it but I was right, it sucks.  The first night wasn't so bad, just felt nauseous.  The second day went fine - I was lucky to have Lorraine take me there & keep me company - made it much more bearable.  The second night - not so great.  I felt absolutely awful last night even though I was taking 3 anti-emitics.  The drugs are just so strong. Today, happily, is better.  The nausea is under control but the anti-emitics make me very tired.  Luckily its a yucky day here today so its a good day to sit in the recliner with my blankie (thanks Steph!) and work.  I had to go into the hospital today for the Neulasta shot which helps boost the white blood cells.  Back of the arm - great place to get a shot.  Unfortunately they were cooking Chinese for lunch at the hospital like they do everyday - not sure I can ever eat Chinese again. My favorite food today is mango-passionfr...

Well treatment number one is behind us. We started the day with labs. I had the best nurse ever who accessed my port with no pain at all. You know I was dreading that. When they access it they basically stick a tiny needle straight into it so they push hard but it didn't hurt. Actually felt good when she cleaned it. She got a few tubes of blood from it with no problem & we were off to see Dr Keedy. She spent another hour with us, patiently answering our questions and explaining things. We discussed the breast MRI. She made a good point that she is more inclined to believe the 2 negative findings than the one positive one. Her feeling was forget it, check it again in 6 months. I'm good with that. I don't know what it is about her but I think if she told me to run naked down the hall I probably would! Some human beings were made to be doctors - she is clearly one of them! Quick exam & we were off to the Infusion Clinic. There they have 3 "pods" which...

Finally we have made it to Chemo-Eve.  Seems like its been a long time coming but when I look back, its been a little over 9 weeks since I had the needle biopsy.  Since January 1st I have had 17 doctor's appointments/procedures and 8 IVs plus who knows how many needle sticks for bloodwork. We have labs at 8.30 in the morning, then we see Dr Keedy & chemo is scheduled to start at 10.30.  I believe this one takes about 4 hours but I expect it to be longer the first time.  I'll post tomorrow evening all being well.  Emilia asked me today if I was excited, scared, anxious, or what?  I could only answer with Yes.  A little bit of each.  At various times its a bit more of one or the other but they net out to be pretty equal. We had the most amazing dinner tonight of delicious Southern food from one of my colleagues and his wife.  I think all the people bringing us food are going to be responsible for my gaining back the 75 pounds I lost...

Why does it feel like this is the last weekend before I will be gone for a long time?  Feels like we have to get a hundred things done in just 2 days.  Well we got 2 1/2 days because everything came to a screeching halt in Nashville around noon Friday due to the storm threat.  Thankfully this one was much ado about not much and the storms passed more or less without incident here.  I have to say I got a couple care packages and a lot of cards this week.  I just absolutely love mail - cards and packages.  I think maybe that harkens back to my West Point days when sometimes that was the only thing to get excited about or look forward to.  Anyway, thank you so much for my packages.  I treasure them.  And the meals, oh my goodness, are we spoiled.  We have had so much delicious food made for us, its phenomenal.  We feel very very loved and fortunate.  Thank you Aaron & Rebecca, Julie, Rachel, Keith & Robin, Mark & Ji...

I have been so touched by everyone offering to help us! We have a project (manual labor so guys take note!) that we need help with. My friend Mark shared a NY Times article with me about a family with cancer in NY who actually developed online sign up sheets for what they needed. I'm not that technically sophisticated so I will just ask! Kendall & I started last fall building a huge garden. It will have shrubs around the outsides & the inside will be planting beds as well as raised beds. Of course when we started we didn't have a clue I would be debilitated this spring & summer. I have always wanted a big garden because I have such fond memories of working in the garden with my mom. Anyway Judy's Garden is a work in progress. The fence is up, the ground is tilled, the plants are ordered, the beds are built, the Railroad ties are delivered. Next week I think the dirt & mulch will be here. But now I can't help Kendall put it all together & he can...

Sitting in my living room listening to the thunder rolling in the storms this afternoon.  Yes, it still hurts but its definitely better today! I made it to see Dr Johnson, the radiation oncologist, this morning.  He had a really goofy but sweet resident with him this time who was very personable.  They had conferred with Dr Keedy & decided to start radiation concurrent with the second cycle of chemo (first week of April).  They will do the simulation CT scan on March 20th.  Basically what they do is use a CT scanner to create a 3D model of my body; they explained that everybody has organs in slightly different places so they have to do it individually in order to assess where the radiation should be directed.  It also allows them to better assess what side effects will be based on what organs will be hit with the "scattered" radiation.  They figure I will probably have some bowel irritation, skin irritation, and possibly muscle weakness from my r...